


HEY!

by mini_younggae (mini_cutie)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Decisions, Choi Youngjae Doesn't Deserve This, Choi Youngjae-centric, Choi Youngjae/Original Male Character(s), Cute and Oblivious Choi Youngjae, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Epitome of Sunshine Choi Youngjae, Everyone is Soft for Choi Youngjae, Gaslighting, Graphic Description of Injuries, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Physical Abuse, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, but only in the beginning, but there ARE, i haven't thought about how this ends yet, if you kno what i mean, so if you're grossed out by tha, there isn't any descriptions of violence happening
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-04 09:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13361889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mini_cutie/pseuds/mini_younggae
Summary: When everyone heard that shy Choi Youngjae finally got a boyfriend, they congratulated him. After waiting for so long and being nagged so much, Youngjae finally found someone. Someone to spend time with, be in love with, enjoy life with. Of course, everyone is happy. Everyone, it seems, but Youngjae’s own closest friends.





	1. catching up.

**Author's Note:**

> There's going to be heavy shit in here, my dudes. There's a lot of emotional abuse, a lot of hurting and bad decisions. You're going to probably be yelling at Youngjae 60% of the time because he does stupid shit. Just warning you that this is going to get messy. It looks cute from the first chapter but, my dudes, it isn't going to be cute for long.

“Ah, Youngjae!” Hani’s bright grin and her giant waving arm signalled Youngjae over. It was hard to miss her in a sea drably dressed college students what with her bright red shirt and her beautiful face.

Her hair was, surprisingly, bleached a nice blonde now. Her roots were still dark, though, and it made a nice ombre effect that complemented her features. Youngjae didn’t think he could ever get used to it.

Nevertheless, he walked over, a pleasantly surprised look on his face “You changed your hair!”

“You changed  _ your  _ hair!” Hani stood up to meet Youngjae, pulling him into a hug as soon as he walked over “It’s cute!”

“You look cute too, noona.” Youngjae returned the compliment, pulling away from Hani as he did.

Hani giggled at that, happy. She didn’t hesitate to sit down either, gesturing to the seat opposite from her’s.

Youngjae sat, of course. He was glad to get the opportunity to catch up with Hani like this, in the same calm cafe they always met in.

“How are you recently? I haven’t been gone for that long but it feels like such a long time…” Hani pouted at that, resting her chin on her hand as she did.

“I’m really really good, noona.” Youngjae answered quickly before turning bashful, his cheeks heating only a little bit “Actually… I think the biggest change since you left is… uh, I have a… boyfriend.”

Hani’s eyes grew wide at that. She sat up straight, mouth forming a perfect ‘o’, hands struggling to reach for Youngjae “Ah! My dongsaeng! My little hoobae! You’re growing up!”

That embarrassed Youngjae even more and he ducked his head to try and hide the shy smile that spread across his face “Ah, noona, don’t be like this…”

“Who is it? Is it someone I know?” Hani immediately started to interrogate and Youngjae couldn’t help but be reminded of Jackson who, of course, did the same thing.

The two really were close friends.

To answer Hani’s question, Youngjae just shrugged, trying to suppress the fluttering feeling in his heart “I-I don’t think so… He’s a business major.”

Hani nodded understandingly “I don’t know any business majors… Is he treating you nicely?”

At that, Youngjae finally managed to properly look at Hani and, when he did, a wide grin was on his face “Yes. Minjun treats me… very well.”

Hani narrowed her eyes at that but the lovestruck look on Youngjae’s face said it all. He looked absolutely in love and his boyfriend wasn’t even there.

“That’s very good, Youngjae.” Hani was giggling now, her grin almost matching Youngjae’s “I’m so glad you finally found someone.”

Youngjae nodded rapidly at that “I’m so happy too. I thought I would never find anyone and now…”

It was Youngjae’s turn to giggle which made Hani giggle. It made her happy to see him so…  _ happy _ . He had been troubled about not finding love for a while now. He used to complain about how happy Hani and her own girlfriend were.

It was about time that Youngjae found his own love.

“So, tell me more about him.” Hani continued to hold Youngjae’s hands, no longer pretending to be overprotective. Instead, she asked because she was curious.

Youngjae shrugged “He’s… really sweet. He always thinks of me and he walks me from class to class. We have an apartment together actually…”

Hani couldn’t help but be surprised a second time “An apartment together? How long since the two of you had started dating?”

“It’s actually our one year anniversary next week?” Youngjae answered as if it was no big deal but Hani quickly started protesting.

“You guys got together like a week after Jeonghwa and I left!” Hani exclaimed “What a coincidence!”

“Actually, it was because you left that we met…” Youngjae looked bashful when he said what he said, especially when Hani lightly hit his wrist.

“You left so I wasn’t going to this cafe on Wednesdays anymore... “ He explained, shrugging “I was going other places. I met him then. On campus.”

Hani’s mock hurt expression left her face “Awh, where on campus?”

“We bumped into each other in front of the business building. I was headed to meet up with Yugyeom. It just sort of happened.” Youngjae shrugged again, shy but happy to share the story.

Just thinking about the story, recalling the memory, made Youngjae’s stomach knot up. It was one of the most embarrassing moments in his life and, yet, he would do it over and over again if he had to. 

That small embarrassing bump let him meet the most amazing man in the world. A man that treated him the way he had always wanted to be treated, the way he had always dreamed of being treated.

Hani covered her mouth and squealed lightly. “It’s good to be in love, isn’t it?”

Youngjae couldn’t help but nod feverently.


	2. trouble in paradise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae gets injured and the rest of his group of friends don't know what to think. Some are more suspicious than others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the trouble begins. There's a kind of graphic description of an injury so watch out for that. Basically, read the tags carefully.

Youngjae was, understandably, hesitant. He didn’t want to loosen the strings of his jacket, didn’t want to pull the hood down. It was scary.

The scariest part, he thinks, was Mark who stood there with big wide eyes, lips slightly parted, like he was in front of a movie screen, waiting for the big plot twist.

_ Oh, he’ll get his plot twist, alright. _

Part of him said this was right. This was what people were supposed to do in situations like this. This was the correct way to react. Another part of him didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore.

Still, even with his heart hammering in his chest and his palms feeling cold and clammy, Youngjae made himself do what he didn’t want to do. One side of himself overpowered the other and he finally reached up to uncover his face.

Mark’s gasp was piercing.

Youngjae himself flinched in surprise. He hadn’t expected that kind of response from Mark Tuan, the cool and collected college senior, the one in their group known to be more stoic.

Mark, on the other hand, probably didn’t expect the cut on Youngjae’s cheek. It stretched from the top of his cheekbone, slanting forward a little, to his jaw.

The blood that had come from the wound had dried and smeared, making a messy crimson smudge against Youngjae’s usually smooth skin. The edges of the cut were already puffy and pink. Around that, the skin had turned a soft red and purple, indicating an oncoming bruise.

It was ugly, nasty, awful. 

“What happened, Jae?” Mark finally spoke up, stepping away from his doorway to cup Youngjae’s unharmed cheek. He tilted Youngjae’s head slightly, trying to get a better look at the injury.

Youngjae was pliant and tired. He didn’t know what else to do but go to the friend he trusted the most. Mark would know what to do because he was the oldest. He could help Youngjae. 

Somehow, that thought didn’t ease his anxiety. In fact, when he finally answered, his voice was clipped and tight “There was an accident. I fell against the corner of my coffee table.”

It sounded rehearsed. There was no lilt to his voice, no inflection. He didn’t chuckle awkwardly or berate himself or act cute. It was an accident. He fell. The corner of the table got his cheek.

“You’re lying.” Mark didn’t hesitate “I’m getting Jinyoung.”

It was Youngjae’s turn to look absolutely shocked “Hyung! I went to you because I thought--”

The look on Mark’s face immediately shut Youngjae up and the sudden grip on his hand was nerve-wracking. Youngjae didn’t think he could ever get used to how scary Mark looked when he was this serious.

“What did you think I would do, Jae?” Mark prompted him to continue, voice deep and angry “Keep this from everyone? This is serious. You might need to get stitches.” 

At the thought of stitches, Youngjae gripped at Mark’s hand, eyes screwing shut. He couldn’t cry, not now. Absolutely not now. If he cried, the salt of it would hurt his cut and Mark would be even more concerned.

He had just wanted help with the cut. He hadn’t meant to bother Mark like this, to bother Jinyoung like this. He always ended up doing this, pulling everyone out of what they’re doing just to take care of him. 

He was a burden.

“Youngjae.” Mark’s voice returned to its usual soft and gentle tone. Youngjae let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in. Things felt less tense.

“I’m sorry. I’m just worried.” Mark continued, sigh escaping his lips. 

“I understand, hyung. But it’s just the cut…” Youngjae glanced away from Mark with a hesitant look on his face, voice shaky “It’s not really a big deal.”

Mark’s deadpan expression would’ve been hilarious if it hadn’t been directed at Youngjae. “You look like you got into a fight, not that you fell against the corner of a coffee table.”

“It was the glass coffee table Jinyoung-hyung and Jaebum-hyung gave me.” Youngjae quickly explained. “The corners of it were always pretty sharp.”

Having been on the receiving end of a couple of swipes from that same coffee table, Mark seemed less suspicious but he still pulled Youngjae into his apartment “How did you manage to fall onto that thing?”

“Accident.” Youngjae shrugged, taking his shoes off at the entrance. Like clockwork, he put his shoes right next to the other shoes and picked up a set of slippers. When Youngjae slipped them on, he couldn’t help but feel as if he was right at home.

He’d been to Mark’s place enough to call it home, he thinks. In fact, he could go through the entire apartment with his eyes closed. Mark and Youngjae were close. After all, they owned a dog together.

Speaking of the dog, Youngjae was at least relieved that he would see Coco. Seeing his sweet dog after so long would be the silver lining to this otherwise horrible night.

As if reading his mind, the sounds of a jingling collar made Youngjae look up. Trotting over in all of her cute white furred beauty was Coco, the dog he’d so terribly missed.

“Coco!” Youngjae grinned despite the fact that it hurt the cut on his cheek to do so. 

Mark stopped him before he could rush forward” We’re going to wait for Jinyoung to clean that cut first and cover it, ok?”

Youngjae understood. There was a risk that the cut could get infected and, honestly, nobody wanted that, especially Youngjae himself. That didn't stop him from pouting. 

When he didn't receive the attention he had wanted to garner, Coco padded away, off to find something else to entertain him. Youngjae pouted even more. 

“I’m going to text everyone. We’ll have a meeting here.” Mark continued, sitting down on the sofa and patting the seat right next to him.

Youngjae’s eyebrows furrowed “What? Why?”

“Well, we were going to call Jinyoung over anyway. Plus, the seven of us haven’t hung out in a while.” Mark waved off the question casually but Youngjae couldn’t help but think that there was something more. 

When Mark patted the space next to him more insistently, Youngjae conceded.

In fact, he didn’t even hesitate, content to sit quietly next to Mark for the next handful of minutes it takes for everyone to just drop everything they’re doing to help Youngjae  _ yet again _ \--

“Markie?”  

Youngjae sat up straighter, head snapping to where the voice came from. His heart shuddered in his chest and he frowned, knowing exactly who that voice belonged to. He knew that everyone would eventually see but he had hoped to prolong the inevitable.


	3. don't freak out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson finally sees the cut and Youngjae can't help but feel like this was rock bottom. There's no way he can feel any worse than this. Maybe he's a little bit wrong.

God, Youngjae hated when his plans went awry. He had gone to Mark for help, expecting that Mark would be the only one to see the cut uncovered. Instead, not only was Jackson coincidentally in the apartment that night ( _ which had been a huge possibility because it was his apartment too _ ) but now everyone was heading there as soon as possible simply to take care of Youngjae.

Apparently, the inevitable didn’t like being prolonged. At this point, Youngjae couldn’t help but think that life just wanted to fuck with him.

“Markie, who was at the door?” Jackson shouted again before he wandered into the living room and stopped when he saw Mark and Youngjae looking back at him while sitting on the couch.

A grin broke out onto Jackson’s face “My favourite dongsaeng!”

“I thought that was Bammie.” Youngjae teased a little, small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. It didn’t look like a smile though. Rather, it seemed more like a nervous tick or perhaps a grimace.

Maybe it was a look of relief, too, because, apparently, Youngjae had turned his head in a way that hid his ugly cheek. Maybe, if Youngjae was lucky, Jackson would leave the two of them be, he would never have to see the cut unbandaged.

Either way, Jackson was suddenly alert. When Youngjae smiled, he absolutely  _ grinned _ . In all of the time Jackson has known Youngjae, and all of the time Youngjae had been alive, he had always half smiled like that when things were wrong.

Mark seemed to pick up on it too because he placed his hand right on top of Youngjae’s, comforting look on his face. Youngjae doesn’t know why he couldn’t even manage a smile,  _ it was just a cut _ .

“What’s wrong? What’s happened?” Jackson’s questions were rapid fire and his voice was strained with worry. He looked anxious as he stepped forward to come closer to the couch.

Mark held up a hand, stopping Jackson “Don’t freak out.”

“I won’t freak out.” Jackson promised first before he continued, walking over to fully face the two instead of just talking to them from behind the couch.

Jackson’s reaction was louder than Mark's and the words seemed to slip out of his mouth “What the fuck!”

Youngjae cringed, suddenly wanting to make himself small. What was so weird about his cut? It wasn’t that bad, was it? No, of course, it wasn’t.  _ It was just a cut _ . Nothing special.

“You said you wouldn’t freak out.”  Mark didn’t hold back the slightly annoyed tone in his voice which quickly calmed Jackson down. At least, he seemed to force himself to calm down.

“Okay, okay, sorry.” Jackson moved so that he was kneeling in front of Youngjae and, like what Mark had done before, he cupped Youngjae’s other cheek to get a good look at the glistening cut.

“Shit, that looks like it hurts.” Jackson gritted his teeth “Who the fuck did this to you?”

As Jackson pulled away, Mark answered for Youngjae “The coffee table Jinyoung and Jaebum gave him last year.”

Jackson was immediately slack-jawed “I told those two to get you succulents instead. God, this is going to scar.”

Youngjae thanked the heavens that Jackson simply went with it but scowled at the thought of a scar.  _ Of course _ , it would scar. He just had the absolute best luck. Not only was he the least good looking in the entire group but,  _ now _ , he was going to get a scar to make him look even worse.

Life really was trying to fuck him over.

Jackson opened his mouth as if to retract his words as quickly as possible but, before he could, there was a sharp knock on the door.

The knock made Youngjae’s stomach churn. He hated his nerves, hated how anxious he felt at that second. He must’ve looked so mortified..

Mark seemed to think so too because he scooted even closer to Youngjae so that their shoulders touched. It was nice, having the two of them pressed against each other like this. It was comforting.

He didn’t think it would make the situation any better, though. He’d have to face the entire group, would have to answer to their questions, would have to be the reason that they dropped everything tonight just to come over. The worst part, Youngjae thinks, is that this is all over a small cut.


	4. everyone freaks out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum, Jinyoung, Bambam and Yugyeom finally see the cut on Youngjae's cheek. Youngjae was wrong about hitting rock bottom.

“There better be a good reason for this.” Youngjae could already hear Jinyoung’s nagging tone “I had to pick up Bambam and Yugyeom even though they were on the other side of campus!”

“Wait.” Jackson replied swiftly, ignoring the complaint “Don’t freak out.”

Youngjae grimaced at that. Telling Jinyoung not to freak out was like throwing gasoline on a flame in an attempt to subdue it. Why did he even have to say that, anyway? There was nothing to freak out over. Jackson was overdramatic.

“What do you mean ‘ _ Don’t freak out _ ’?” Youngjae heard Jaebum’s rough voice next, beating Jinyoung to the question.

There’s a silence that was much too long for anyone’s liking, especially Youngjae. Mark even shifted awkwardly but gave Youngjae a small reassuring smile.

It wasn't as if Youngjae was in that much trouble, after all. He understood that much. What he didn't understand was why showing them something he argued was small and insignificant made him so anxious.

“Well, if it counts,  _ I’m _ not going to freak out.” Bambam broke the pause in conversation and there was a hum of confirmation from Yugyeom.

Then, there was a shuffling of feet and the dropping of shoes.

“You can’t come through unless you promise!” Jackson insisted but the rest of that conversation was drowned out as soon as Yugyeom and Bambam walked into the living room, right where Youngjae could see them.

“Oh my god, Youngjae-hyung, what the fuck is that!” Bambam, like Jackson, quickly broke his promise not to freak out and, if Youngjae hadn’t felt so wound up and anxious, he would’ve groaned and complained and rolled his eyes.

Instead, Jackson seemed to do it for him “Bambam, you little shit--”

There’s a thud and the sound of scuffling bodies. Youngjae could only guess what was happening. Jinyoung and Jaebum always were known to be more forceful.

It seemed he was right because Jaebum, followed quickly by Jinyoung, entered the living room next, with a frazzled Jackson right behind them.

“Baby, what happened to your face?” Jinyoung is the first of the four to actually approach Youngjae. He squats in front of him, concerned expression on his face. Like before, Youngjae’s uninjured cheek is cupped and his cut is examined.

“Who the fuck did this?” Jaebum took an entirely different approach, his jaw clenching in that way it always did when he got absolutely furious.

Youngjae suddenly felt small in front of them and, though he had wished that earlier, he didn't know if it was helping him or not now. 

He answered anyway. “Coffee table.”

“The one that we got you last year?” Jinyoung’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as if what Youngjae had just said didn't click in his head.

“Yeah.” Mark answered for Youngjae, something he was glad for because, in the face of Jinyoung, his mouth suddenly felt dry.

“Were you there, hyung?” Jaebum turned to Mark, his face stern. 

Mark shook his head because, of course, that was the truth. Except, maybe, part of Youngjae wished that Mark lied, that he said he was there, just so that Youngjae would have someone on his side.

_ No _ , Youngjae quickly reminded himself. This wasn’t about him versus his friends. They were here to help him, to clean his cut and  _ comfort _ him. Why, then, was he so anxious? Why, then, did he feel so defensive?

“Youngjae-ah, what actually happened?” Jaebum’s next question snapped Youngjae out of his thoughts. 

Youngjae shrugged, lifting his head away from Jinyoung’s palm “I tripped and the corner of the table got my cheek.”

There’s a small silence as everyone in the room assessed Youngjae. Jackson seemed to be the only one who didn’t look either quizzical or confused. They were  _ all _ worried, that was for sure. Bambam looked absolutely heartbroken even. 

“I don’t want to seem like I don’t trust you.” Jinyoung started, eyes looking right into Youngjae’s “But that doesn’t sound… true.”

Youngjae looked away. He couldn’t handle looking into Jinyoung’s eyes, didn’t want Jinyoung to see the fear and the pain in his. 

It was all too much. 

Suddenly, his eyes prickled and, though he had been so successful stopping them earlier, the tears Youngjae had been holding back finally wanted to fall.

“Ah, hyung, you’re making him cry!” Yugyeom finally spoke up and he gave Jinyoung a little shove as if to ask him to step away.

Jinyoung was forced to, of course, and, when he stood, he gave Yugyeom a look that would’ve absolutely murdered him if looks could kill. Even Jaebum seemed irritated with Yugyeom because he placed a hand on Yugyeom’s shoulder.

“Jae…” Mark reached over and placed his hand over Youngjae’s other one. Now, he held both of Youngjae’s hands in his and, though the feeling was comfortable, he didn’t know exactly how to feel.

He wrenched his hands out of Mark’s grip, using them to wipe away the tears that left his eyes. Some of it got into the cut and the pain from it was almost searing.

“It was an accident. It was an accident, okay?  _ An accident _ .” Youngjae babbled, trying his best to dry his eyes as quickly as he could. His stomach was churning and his chest was clenching and he felt so vulnerable, so  _ exposed _ .

All he wanted was someone to clean and bandage his cut. Was that so much to ask? Instead of that, Youngjae got a group of nosy friends who weren’t helping him  _ one bit _ .


	5. make it better.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae could only guess where things were going to go from here. He didn't have to be able to see the future to know it wasn't going to get any better, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternative summary: Youngjae has a revelation that changes everything around him. He had been so sure he knew what love was. Now, he didn't know anymore.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, baby.” Jinyoung returned to squat in front of Youngjae, taking one of his hands. He then turned to Yugyeom and Bambam “Can you go to the bathroom and get the first aid kit?”

Bambam, who looked like he was on the verge of crying, nodded quickly. He had always been one of Youngjae’s more emotional friends so seeing that wasn’t new. Youngjae was more worried about the fact that Bambam looked like this when he didn’t even know half the story.

The two left quickly enough and Jinyoung stood, sitting on Youngjae’s other side “You want to rest your head on my lap?”

Though his eyes were still teary, Youngjae couldn’t help but flush, absolutely hating how he was being treated like a child. However, he really couldn’t say anything back so he just hiccuped, nodded and laid down, injured cheek up. He also tried to take as little space as possible as he did, pulling his knees closer to his chest. 

Mark patted his leg comfortingly but it did nothing.

“Now, what was an accident?” Jinyoung was gentle when he brushed Youngjae’s hair away, fingers combing comfortably through his locks.

Jaebum’s interest piqued at that and, still with that stern expression, he pulled up an ottoman and sat in front of Youngjae. 

Jackson seemed conflicted, arms crossing “Wait, so that cut… It’s not from… the table?”

“It is.” Youngjae’s voice was firm and his fists clenched a little but he kept them against his chest, frown on his face.

“But?” Jaebum gritted his teeth, his anger not at all directed at Youngjae but at the thought of someone hurting him.

Whatever the case, Jaebum’s tone still made Youngjae uneasy. He squirmed a little, trying to find the right words, some way of maybe making sure that his friends weren’t as angry,  _ something _ .

“Minjun did it, didn’t he?” 

Yugyeom’s input made everyone flinch, mostly because they hadn’t noticed him or Bambam. They approached anyway, going around the couch to hand Mark the first aid kid. 

The kit was hefty looking and personally packed by Jinyoung. It wasn’t anything special, just an unbranded black bag with bandages, cotton swabs, anything anyone needed for any kind of injury. 

Youngjae watched Mark unzip the bag, watched him take some things out. He had a brown looking square plastic bottle, some cotton swabs, a bandage, these weird looking--

“Youngjae.” Jaebum pulled Youngjae out of his thoughts yet again. Youngjae’s attention snapped to him, eyes wide and lip trembling.

Jaebum’s expression softened at that but he still continued “It was Minjun?”

Youngjae seemed to pause at that, eyes looking forward. Not exactly at Jaebum or  _ anything _ really. Then, slowly, he nodded, biting his lip as his eyes fluttered from one friend to another.

Yugyeom, Jackson and Jaebum looked the angriest. Jaebum especially. Youngjae could see the veins in Jaebum’s arms, could see his knuckles turning white as he fisted his hands.

Bambam just looked not exactly devastated-- Sad seemed too light for the expression on his face.

Mark just looked solemn, like he had expected this kind of outcome. Youngjae wonders if Mark did see it coming, if Mark had been able to guess and that was why everyone was here.

Youngjae wondered if he really was that transparent.

Jinyoung silently took the brown bottle and a cotton swab, cautious as if he didn’t want to jostle around too much and disturb Youngjae.

He tipped some of the liquid from the brown bottle onto the cotton swab, hesitating in his movements “This might hurt a little.”

Youngjae nodded, steeling himself for the searing pain. He felt the wetness touch his cut and, of course, the initial touch of the swab hurt because of the pressure it put on the cut. However, other than that, it almost felt like nothing, just cold wetness. He could even hear it bubble faintly.

“Youngjae, you need to tell us what happened.” Jackson sat down on the ground next to Jaebum, his expression exhausted and scrunched “We need to know--”

“He didn’t mean to--!” Youngjae would’ve stood if it weren’t for Jinyoung’s arm blocking him, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted “It was an accident.”

“I made him angry. I shouldn’t have made him angry.” Youngjae added but his tone turned from indignant to meek, the volume of his voice softening “I should’ve known--”

“Youngjae-hyung.” Bambam shook his head, sniffling lightly “This isn’t your fault, okay?”

Youngjae shook his head. At that, he felt some of whatever liquid drip from his cut, rolling across his skin towards his nose. He wiped it away before it could really go anywhere. Jinyoung added more to the cut.

There was a hush between all of them and, patiently, they waited for Youngjae to elaborate.

After all, none of them could imagine Youngjae actually doing anything to warrant this kind of injury. At least, that’s what Youngjae assumed they were thinking. They thought he was some good boy who never did anything wrong.

Youngjae didn’t know what to say to that. 

“I should’ve known he was in a bad mood.” Youngjae decided to say, his words slow as they left his mouth “He was already angry and I just made him angrier…”

“He didn’t mean for me to get hurt.” He continued, body instinctively curling into a ball, eyes glassy as if he wanted to cry but he couldn’t. “He gave me a small shove and… and…”

Youngjae’s voice got too shaky, he couldn’t finish his sentence. Something about recalling it made him too upset. 

Jaebum nodded and it relieved Youngjae who didn’t really want to continue. The accident had only happened half an hour or so ago and the feelings of fear and anguish he had were still fresh. Talking about it made it hurt even more.

Another bout of quiet settled around them.

Jinyoung had dabbed the liquid out of Youngjae’s cut and Youngjae squirmed a little at that. However, what hurt even more was when Jinyoung took these weird sticky things and started sticking them across his cut. 

They pulled at his skin, pressing it together. Not just that but Jinyoung was pinching his skin together too as if attempting to close the cut  _ or something _ .

“Hyung!” Youngjae grumbled, scowl on his face and fresh tears about to fall from his eyes.

Jinyoung wasn’t having any of it, though “Choi Youngjae, do you want stitches?  _ No?  _ Then, please, le-let me d-do this.”

Youngjae glanced up at Jinyoung at that, wondering why his voice shook. He was surprised by the fact that Jinyoung was crying. Fat tears had traveled down his face and he bit his lip to swallow down the hiccups and the sobs that threatened to leave his lips.

“Hyung…” Youngjae’s mouth felt even drier “H-Hyung..?”

“You could’ve died!” Jinyoung quickly dropped everything in his hands to wipe away his tears “A little bit closer and that corner could’ve-- could’ve--”

The thought made Youngjae almost gag. He couldn’t stand the cut on his cheek. He couldn’t imagine how much worse a hit to the head could’ve been. 

“Jinyoung is right.” Jaebum sighed, sitting a little bit straighter “We’re all right.”

What, that this wasn’t his fault? That it wasn’t right for Minjun to do this to him?  _ That he could’ve died? _

Youngjae didn’t know what to say to that, what to  _ think _ . Instead, he laid there, letting it all sink in, letting it all just wash over him.

He could feel Jinyoung sticking a gauze over the cut. It was the final step. His cut was now clean and he could now get up and brush all of this off.  _ He could leave _ .

However, his body wasn’t listening to him. It felt like nothing was. He didn’t want to think about this situation anymore, didn’t want to delve any deeper into whatever  _ this _ was.

Instead, that was all his brain could linger on. The thought of being so close to the corner of that table, the possibility that he could’ve died, that his own boyfriend could’ve killed him. It made his heart clench in a way he begged for it not to.

He hated it, this sudden feeling that rushed into him. He couldn’t exactly put a finger on what feeling it was but it made his chest ache and his stomach churn. He was suddenly all too uncomfortable, all too anxious and sad and everything all at once. 

It was weird how that was. How much of an oxymoron this was. Yes, he did feel like everything all at once. He did feel like that but, still, there was a hollowness there too. 

Maybe he got to the point where he was just feeling so much that it felt like nothing.  _ Maybe _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! leave a kudos and a comment if you liked it!!!
> 
> if you wanna get some updates, my tumblr is mini-ghost-writer and my twitter is minikkukkungi. there's not much on either of them but like... if you wanna follow anyway lmao. on my twitter, there's a poll up on which story you guys want updated asap? so if you wanna vote on that, hmu! i only have my top three most popular stories on there but you can dm me or retweet it with a vote if the story you wanna vote on isn't an option


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